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ABSOLUTE NONSENSE NEWS

For Those That Can't Handle The Truth!

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Edition 12

Mexican food does not cause flatulence!

Drunken Dinner Defrosting Championships Begin!

Penguins are the evil reincarnations of nuns professor claims


12 
HEADLINES: Previous Editions:
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Special Edition

A News Swallow Special: Aliens Land On The White House Lawn...

But They’re Not As Advanced As We Thought They Would Be!
special
Edition 10

Wife Bludgeons Husband To Death With Brussels Sprouts

Thrilling Granny-Catapulting Final

Pioneer Tree Surgeon Performs First Heartwood Transplant
Edition 10
Edition 9

Man’s Nose Hair Gets Trapped In Tube-Train Door

Cornflakes Are The Devil’s Herpes Scabs

Priest Farts On Infant’s Head At Christening

Jack The Ripper Wasn’t A Very Nice Man
Edition 9
Edition 8

Conspiracy Theorists Say That There Is A Conspiracy To Cover Up Their Conspiracies

YouTube: Skateboard Accidents Are Up - Trolls Are Down

Particle Physicists Admit That They Make Everything Up
edition 8

Edition 7

Duck-Balancing World Championship Is Here Again!

Royal Sewage Worker Auctions Queen’s Poo On eBay

Institute For Confusing Consumers Celebrates 50th Year

Fanatical Cult Worship Pizza
edition 7
Edition 6

Man Who Went On Hot Food Triathlon Set To Blow

Medium Claims Spirit World Server Went Down On Live Show

Little Girl Invites North And South Korean Leaders To Her Birthday Party
edition 6
Edition 5

New Planet Discovered That Looks Like A Baboon’s Bum

Man Eats Own Foot In Protest Against Fast Food Giant!

New Talent Show Coming soon: ‘The What TF Factor’


Woman Talks Suicidal Hamster Down From Bookshelf
Edition 5
Edition 4

Grey Alien Turns Out To Be Washing Machine

Woman Who Defecated In Neighbour’s Garden Apologises


Barack Obama Will Attempt ‘Beard Of Bees’ World Record
Edition 4
Edition 3

Dog’s Fart Kills Quicker Than Cyanide

Free Mammograms Doctor Was Fraudulent Pervert!

Man Attacked By Transvestite Zombie!


Thai Man Marries Vacuum Cleaner

Edition 3
Edition 2

Man Survives Whole Day On Nothing But Beer!

Starbucks To Open Branch On International Space Station


Oral Sex Is Bad For Teeth Shock

Edition 2
Edition 1

Justin Bieber To Become Earth’s Ambassador

Women Buy Too Many Shoes Because They’re Sick

Canadian Woman Breaks Dress Dithering World Record

 Hitler Was A Keen Tap-Dancer
Edition 1
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